Sunday morning I dragged myself out of bed to meet my brother and sister (and her friend) for our first pre-mudder run. My brother had warned it would be muddy and hilly, but I wasn’t too worried, it was only 2.2 miles.
I don’t remember when I started trusting my brother, or maybe I just forgot not to. 2.2 miles turned out to actually be 3.6 miles. Now, I know this isn’t that far, relatively speaking. But, I am not a runner. My knee started screaming at about 3 miles I think. Which is understandable – I’ve only run 2 miles lately, so this was a bit of a jump for me.
I don’t know what it is about my body that hates it – I think it’s my left hip. Or maybe it’s because I struggle so much to relax my upper body – my shoulders normally ache before anything else.
Anyway, the good news is that I finished it, and of the four of us, I finished second – I hadn’t realised we were doing a sprint finish?? I’m competitive, so I stopped listening to my knee and I just went for it. It was shameful really, embarrassing how much I wanted it. Oh well, there are worse failings I guess.
I made it. And at 3 miles when my body wanted to *insert swear words* walk and go home for a beer and some chips, I realised that all I had to do was take off my jumper and cool the hell down!
I need to stop that negative voice from telling me I can’t. I’m not supposed to. I’m not built to.
On the way home, I stopped at another park to try out the pull up bars and scope out a different run. It was seriously waterlogged so I did one lap, got my feet soaked (soaking with water is far less pleasurable than soaking with mud – I was pretty miserable now), and hung on the pull up bars for a bit. I did some two-handed hangs and some single-hand hangs. I was surprised I could do the single…
I also stopped at the shop I’d gone to the night before. The first visit, about 22:30, the child-man had been very chatty and winked at me. Woah – winked??? Is that a thing? I mean, is that another thing that’s coming back from the 80’s (I only remember this from my childhood, obviously)? Anyway, post workout I am apparently hideously unrecognisable. Or, perhaps I just put too much on the “moment” we’d shared the evening before…yeah okay, I need to get out more and maybe get a boyfriend!
So in summary, I felt pretty good after my run. But then I hit a MAJOR downer. Is that normal? It’s not like I’m not fit, so I’m used to some peaks and troughs in mood when I do/n’t exercise. I suspect it’s a combination of things, but I think my screaming knee and absolute exhaustion is a big piece of this pie. There’s some emotional stuff going on as well – but I think that’s only 50% to blame.
I think I am hyper-sensitive to negativity at the moment. Maybe it’s the time of year. Maybe it’s the time of life. It just feels like it’s a bit of a plague? The more negative people are, the more it shapes how you think about things – like, it changes the default. I really really hate it. I know it’s bad for me. It’s counterproductive. It makes me very grumpy. And that’s where I am now, on a drizzly day in February, knowing I can’t push my knee and therefore removing my primary coping mechanism for the blues.
Maybe I’ll spend some time looking at pictures of baby animals or something? Maybe I just need a hug?!
It’s too early for a drink…
Note: I am not condoning this as a coping strategy, nor am I speaking from experience
Anyway, the next run is a week on Sunday and I get to set the route. I was actually awake at 3am thinking about where it was going to be, adding up the imaginary miles, considering contingency loops to boost it. There are gonna be some mean ass hills in there. I quite like hills – I think the shift of weight on to my toes is a much better position for me. If I knew anything about running, I could probably use this knowledge to adapt my running style to suit! So that’s something to focus on. That and my next climbing session – maybe solo, I am thinking Friday…